How time flies! This year is my third year of PhD. A little bit scary thinking of work ahead which I dont know from where to start with yet, a little bit proud of myself being able to overcome twists and turns the last two years have thrown on me, and a little bit ambitious thinking ahead a little further beyond the graduation day, when hopefully I will be able to surpass the limit of a young bird to fly far and wide. Possibilities are still possibilities, but I know for sure I have grown a great deal from this journey, at least to be able not to feel uneasy when being thrown out of my comfort zone.
Stories the last two years have woven in my PhD fabric are diverse and colourful. Life of a woman, a wife, a mother, a researcher and of course some other identities I have been playing all at the same time has been sometimes very crazy and some other times sweet enough. It's life I know. But what I know far more is when I live to the fullest of me, life turns out to be very encouraging and can present me with worthy life-changing moments .
Well I must tell about my research, which is anyway something I have to do almost all of the time now. I remember reading some scholar saying about a professional self and a personal self he got to live for, in separation he admitted. When it comes to those two huge selves in me, a separation is unreal and impossible. I am truly living the way they supplement to each other. For the data collection, I had to meet many people, especially students, at my home college. Surrounded by them and the teachers, I could not help thinking about the learning environment in our home college, which is surely raising up the student learners, their minds and their souls. Thinking about the reality and envisioning the future felt like bitter. Anyway, the collection went well, which was in a large part because of me listening to and thinking heavily about the reality and the responses from people. I was not only a researcher in my home college but also a teacher, a colleague, a friend, and a folk fellow to all the teachers and the students, which I believe enabled me to be a good listener and professional inquirier. Doing the job of a data collector in this setting is nothing but amazing and worthwhile. What has grown in me as a new plant in the garden of research is you have to be a truly person before you want to be a truly researcher.
I have started my 3rd year. Thoughts to share, stories to treasure and ideas to challenge are plentiful. Shall I be able to weave them all in my PhD fabric, the fabric of crystal clear lights and nights, realities and fantasies?
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