"Taking the road less travelled" speaks much to me. It has been recently that I began to understand layers of meaning of that sentence from Robert Frost. At the end of the day, I have decided the research topic that I can find a strong genuine interest in studying. Reflecting on the 'at the junction' time, when I was not determined where to go, which road to take, I am much pleased now about my choice. I will study about one's self and identity, the development and fluidity of self and identity in L2 motivation, and case study is the research strategy of inquiry. Since humans are mysterious, studying the innermost image of a person to understand why s/he behaves this way not that one is very interesting and challenging.
...
(3 weeks later)
I am continuing this entry for the sake of a complete one because anyway I want to 'celebrate' the moment of being able to 'take the road'.
This entry turns out to be an ugly piece of cake due to the breakdown in the middle. Life is not always a delicious piece of cake if we master the recipe of making the cake and we have a strong belief. Resonating with this fact about life is this very moment, when ideas are flooding in my head but I am struggling with encoding them so that I can communicate with people what the ideas are and how smart (I believe) they are. Eventually, being able to 'take a road' is not something worth celebrating because it is not an end but a beginning.
I am beginning to go on my chosen road...
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
As a researcher 3
The book 'Research methods in applied linguistics' of Zoltan Dornyei published in 2007 by Oxford University Press is a great source of inspiration and encouragement for me. Before reading the book, I often questioned my research ability and doubted if I would do research well due to my little research experience. More seriously, i almost did not know what would particularly be involved in my research plus what it means by a system of research terminology many books, research articles and my supervisors keep talking about. What my research study would be like if it was fuelled with my (fake) curiosity and labour of a mislead 'well-digger' like me? Frankly, my research paradigm (qualitative)and inquiry strategy(case study) were pre-developed packages coming into being with very little understanding, knowledge, and deliberation of mine. Ironically, I was keeping labouring day by day with a kind of frustration-becoming-satisfaction due to a shortage of knowledge of an easy-going idiot, until I came across Dornyei's book. It is such an enlightenment the book brings me.
The notion of 'good enough mother' or 'good enough parent' introduced by Winnicott (1965, cited by Dornyei, 2007) opens my eyes and triggers my 'research mind'. You dont have to be a 'Supermum' or 'Superdad' to produce a healthy child! Such a fabulous fact! I am an actual mom, and I thoroughly understand what it means by producing a healthy child without necessarily being a supermom, because it is as clear as the daylight that I am a normal mom who produces a very healthy son. I have to confess I have fallen in love with Dornyei when he nicely made the statement that 'the best researchers in the field tend to be very normal people'(p. 17). It is undeniable that a 'good enough mother' does not have to be experienced in child bearing and rearing before she can produce a healthy child.
'A good enough mom' or 'a good enough researcher' however cannot act unthoughtfully to her child. Similarly to the rationale and ways I have equipped my self with knowledge of child bearing and rearing, child development and education, good parenting, and so forth, I am fully aware of a responsibility for mastering research methodology. I am learning to become a good researcher. Characteristics I am learning to build for myself are as follows:
1. A genuine and strong curiosity of the topic
2. Common sense
3. Good ideas
4. Discipline and social responsibility
They are four characteristics of a good researcher put forward by Dornyei. I can never have them all overnight. Taking item 1 as an example, as I said above, the 'curiosity' I used to have for my labour was a fake one. Reasons for this fact are unavailable at this moment, but generally I can say I was mislead then. Dornyei is blessing me in multiple ways, but overall, i am building the good researcher's characteristics with confidence earned from reading his book.
The notion of 'good enough mother' or 'good enough parent' introduced by Winnicott (1965, cited by Dornyei, 2007) opens my eyes and triggers my 'research mind'. You dont have to be a 'Supermum' or 'Superdad' to produce a healthy child! Such a fabulous fact! I am an actual mom, and I thoroughly understand what it means by producing a healthy child without necessarily being a supermom, because it is as clear as the daylight that I am a normal mom who produces a very healthy son. I have to confess I have fallen in love with Dornyei when he nicely made the statement that 'the best researchers in the field tend to be very normal people'(p. 17). It is undeniable that a 'good enough mother' does not have to be experienced in child bearing and rearing before she can produce a healthy child.
'A good enough mom' or 'a good enough researcher' however cannot act unthoughtfully to her child. Similarly to the rationale and ways I have equipped my self with knowledge of child bearing and rearing, child development and education, good parenting, and so forth, I am fully aware of a responsibility for mastering research methodology. I am learning to become a good researcher. Characteristics I am learning to build for myself are as follows:
1. A genuine and strong curiosity of the topic
2. Common sense
3. Good ideas
4. Discipline and social responsibility
They are four characteristics of a good researcher put forward by Dornyei. I can never have them all overnight. Taking item 1 as an example, as I said above, the 'curiosity' I used to have for my labour was a fake one. Reasons for this fact are unavailable at this moment, but generally I can say I was mislead then. Dornyei is blessing me in multiple ways, but overall, i am building the good researcher's characteristics with confidence earned from reading his book.
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